* Many women in what’s called the Sandwich Generation could find themselves in a unique position, caring for their own children while also caring for a mother or aging parent in addition to their own careers and their families, and according to Statistics Canada, women are more likely to provide dual care than men. So what are some ways to navigate this? It can be challenging.

– Nicole Ewing, Director of Tax and Estate Planning at TD Wealth joins me to discuss not only the financial but just some statistics. Nicole, so let’s start with, I guess, the state of the world and how often this happens. The expectations around parenting, the realities of caretaking have evolved, and there’s more pressure than ever.

* There really is, and the StatCan numbers are really, I think, informative here, and we see that 52% of women are providing care to children or dependent adults. 23% of them are providing that unpaid care to adults with long-term conditions and disabilities. The sandwich caregivers– again, more likely to be women– a full 7% are providing care to both minor children and dependent adults.

– And what’s interesting it’s not just that they’re providing care, right? It’s the type of care that’s really important here. It’s that women are providing care that requires things to be scheduled regularly, prolonged, and so that prevents some of the flexibility in terms of the options that are available, as well as not just providing that care, providing it on a regular basis, but also the amount of care. So women, the mean is 10 hours a week. That’s very significant.

– When you add on to that, as you mentioned, caring for minor children, driving them around to their activities, ensuring that they are getting the full experience– some of those seniors are also caring for their senior parents as we’re living longer. Women are having children later, so average age is 32, having children. So all of this is combining into a really challenging position both financially, emotionally, and it’s a lot of pressure, a lot of pressure.

* I think, actually, I have a theory, Nicole, that 7% of women who are sandwich givers– I think it’s a lot higher, but they’re too busy to do the survey.

* [LAUGHS]

* So that’s why they can’t fill it out. Do you have any stories of clients, just what you’ve heard from people about a day in the life, what their experiences are like?

* Oh, gosh. Gosh, a day in the life, I think of one of our clients who is has a child who she’s getting housed in university in another town while also moving her stepfather from his home, packing that up, relocating him into a long-term care facility that can meet his needs, mom is being moved into a condo that needs to be furnished, all while running a full business and caring for a spouse at home that has chronic health needs as well.

– Another situation, we have yet another child going off to university, another one in high school who has a part-time job they need to be brought to, another one in middle school who has all of the activities, mom out of town that needs to be seen on a regular basis, so we have trips back and forth to another city. And now her mother-in-law has moved in with her recently after the death of her spouse and then suffered a fall. So all of this is a lot to be managing all at once, and it’s– we see you. This is happening all over, and it’s a really, really challenging experience.

* Listening to that was tiring.

* [LAUGHS]

* There are obviously, like, the mental. There’s the emotional. There’s the physical, I’ll say, you know, things you have to deal with, and it’s draining.

– But I know, you know, we come to you for looking at the financial side. So maybe are there any things that people can prepare for ahead of time to get themselves in order, to make this easier?

* Part of it is really knowing what their situation is, understanding what assets are available to you, what are your income streams, and setting boundaries around that, knowing what the options are, not all of the options that we’d like to do, but what can we do, and then bringing that together not only with your own personal finances, making sure that you have those emergency funds in place, making sure that you have your retirement plans, that you’re still continuing to prioritize yourself and your future self, but also working with your parents’ financial situation as well.

– So depending on what resources they might have available, you can help them either maximize those resources by ensuring that they’re drawing on their income sources efficiently, or help them also understand what the limitations might be in place for them. They may want to age in place. That might not be an option that’s available to them if they don’t have the financial resources to be able to do that. So sharing that financial responsibility across siblings, making sure that everybody really is aware of your own personal circumstances and your parents’ circumstances, and what you can collectively be doing as a family. And frankly, being able to say no in those circumstances as well.

– I’d say, again, making sure that your estate planning is in order, but that involves your powers of attorney, making sure that if somebody needs you to step in– so if that senior parent requires you to act on their behalf, if they lose capacity, you want to be able to have those documents in place, ready to go. Make sure that the wills are there so that any administration later on of their estate is more straightforward and easy to deal with, and just really thinking ahead about what your options are, what your parents’ options are, and trying to balance those as best you can.

* I’ve only got about 30 seconds here, Nicole, but this is important. Are there any tax things that people should think about when they’re in this situation as well?

* Make sure that you are as familiar as possible with all of the different tax credits and deductions that are available to you, so our Disability Tax Credit, the medical expenses can be deducted– Home Accessibility Tax Credit, childcare expenses, Canada caregiver amount, the Multigenerational Home Renovation Tax Credit. All of these can be utilized to maximize the resources that you have available to you, and some of them can be shared between the dependent person and the person providing that financial assistance as well. So combining all of that together with working with a professional who can help guide you through, know what your options are, tax professional, financial professional.

– And your good friends and colleagues as well, they have stories. They’re going through these situations. And so let’s group-source some of those solutions while working with a professional to help guide you.

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